solnet | (no subject)

First off, I'm sorry for avoiding everyone. I kinda socialed myself out with the masquerade and I'm not used to it, so I hid for awhile. [ Soul looks apologetic as he appears on the network with this statement, running his hand through his bangs and trying to smile. Mostly he just looks supremely embarrassed. Not by what he's said but what he's about to say. ]

So uh, I have to ask for some advice.

[ He pauses and takes a deep breath as his cheeks flush. ]

What do you do when you have a big old crush on someone? Do you tell them your real feelings or only spill it a little? Do you do it at all if you've been avoiding them and they're kind of upset about it? I'm sort of tired of avoiding them more than anyone, and feel like the only answer is to say something so I can't anymore.

But I really don't want to. Is there any way I can avoid this? I'm really not sure about it because I've never... liked another guy before, and I don't know how to handle it with a guy. I barely know how to handle it with a chick.

I don't want to lose this friend if they get pissed off about it. Things could stay the same and I'd be okay. I'm used to not getting what I want.

[ He pauses. That's kind of a shitty thing to say and he didn't mean to. ]

Uh, forget that last statement, please.

Help?

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[Using the field to his advantage - good. Atsuya isn't playing against a total newbie. That'll make this easier.

Mid-run, he drops to the ground, and the water and ice on the floor (already lacking traction without the grass or dirt he usually plays on) only serves to launch him forward at a greater speed. He comes at Soul sliding, and easily breaks through the block of ice. Soul won't have more than a second if he wants to retain possession of the ball.]

Edited 2016-11-14 06:08 (UTC)

... In my experience?

Put everything out in the open after a life and death scenario and hope for the best.

...

It may not work for everyone.

Yeah well, he was completely missing during the last life or death scenario.

...not that I'd consider doing it this way or anything.

[ Soul is not surprised, he expected Atsuya to pass the test. The speed surprises him a little but it really shouldn't. He sidesteps and tries to take the ball along, but he has th feeling he won't be Fast Enough. ]

[Too slow.

Fubuki steals the ball easily, and in the blink of an eye he's set off at a sprint for Soul's goal. He won't use his hissatsu for this unless Soul really pushes him, so there won't be any more ice on the floor.

He's still trying to set up that, though. He's not fully sure how. It comes so naturally to his teammates, and even when he managed it with Someoka, it was when tensions and stakes were high. He's not considering that Soul has to want to connect, too.]

[ Here's the thing - Soul always wants to connect to him on most levels. Not really on the soul level, not again - but wanting to get closer? Yeah, there's that, so maybe it'll help.

He feels like he's chasing now, trying to steal the ball - so instead of keeping up with trying to follow when he doesn't have the speed, he pushes a chunk of ice forward with a kick. Not enough to break through it but enough to loosen it from the ground, sending it sliding to land inside his goal. Can't get a ball in if it's already filled, right?

He has no idea if this is against the rules. He's never played soccer in Fubuki's world style before. ]

[It should. It's about the feeling, about understanding. It works best when the entire team shares one purpose, but Atsuya isn't good at it. Shirou wasn't good at it. Fubuki's soccer has always been about the two of them, and trying to add others into that equation doesn't always work.

The chunk of ice wouldn't fill a normal soccer goal, but it's enough to get in the way of Atsuya's shoot. It's too late to re-aim by the time he's noticed it, and the ball bounces away from it. Loose ball.

If they had goalies, it would be in Soul's team's possession now, but once it's out of the goalkeeper's hands it's a free-for-all anyway.]

[ The ball manages to land nearby Soul and he feels proud of himself. But he feels something else, too, growing on the edge of his mental vision. A determination that lines up along with his, but is coming from a different source. It's familiar to feel like this, but it's not as strong as he's used to.

He doesn't push it away like he might push away some unexpected harmonies. It feels gentle enough he's not objecting to it. He heads the ball for Fubuki's goal, but he's ready to dodge the moment he needs to. ]

[It's shaky with pent-up frustration and a lack of reference for most behavior, but it's there. The thrill of the game. The clash of wills. The undying fighting spirit carried by everyone who wears the lightning bolt mark.

The chill of mountain air.

He's there, running right beside Soul as they race to the other side of the court. Just waiting for his chance to steal. This is for real, now. This - this - is soccer.]

[ There's a strong feeling of admiration coming from Soul, as well as curiosity. He hadn't quite been aware that this was a part of what soccer was like from Fubuki's world, and it's so much better than simple basketball. How much it means to the other boy makes even more sense now.

The admiration is for how great Fubuki is at it, but other things as well. Will Atsuya be able to sense under the surface feelings? Will he know the depth these things go for him?

Soul isn't concentrating on those things, though. He's concentrating on when to dodge the steal and he's able to speed up a little more now. Maybe that comes from the connection? Knowing how to move better. ]

Soul, I'm saying this as your friend and your Meister: that's really weird. You're really weird.

This isn't the coolest thing you've done, you big soft-hearted dork.

Tell me about Fubuki?

[Of course it's important. No matter their arguments, no matter their differences of opinion, it was the one thing Shirou and Atsuya always shared. Soccer isn't something you play alone - but it is. It is for Fubuki. It has to be. He's perfect.

Right now, Soul gets to share in the technical knowledge of footwork and technique and timing Fubuki has built into his muscles through countless drills. Pulling any of it off is another story entirely, however. Soul hasn't trained to the extend the younger boy has. Still, he manages to escape with the ball. Fubuki will have to try to cut him off, then. He's not using his hissatsu, but that doesn't mean he's going to let Soul have a single goal without a fight.

Atsuya might pick up on those feelings if Soul puts them into the ball. Even so, though, he has nothing he can do with them. 'Love' is among the things he has no reference for. His world is cold, after all - it's been devoid of love for years now. Cold and silent. Maybe Shirou remembers better, but Shirou has been buried deeper than he was when they first resonated.]

See, now that'd cause a bit of a problem.

I don't know. Just be honest with them. The world shouldn't have to feel like it's ending before we make the important steps in our lives.

[Says a young woman who proposed on the eve of an alien invasion.]

[She's waiting for him to show, sipping at a drink she scrounged up from the mess area. Seems like he was a bit confused on things.]

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Sorry this is so late. ;-;