solnet | [video] (It's long. Sorry.)

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[video] (It's long. Sorry.)

[ A handheld camera -- quite likely Wade’s smartphone -- ‘pans’ over the gleaming exterior of a convertible. How a car managed to get here is anyone’s guess, but anyone guessing a being like Ozuma may or may not have been involved would probably be close. With its bright red paint shining in the cold winter unlight, the sight of a convertible with its top down might be alien, surreal, or even nostalgic. ]

[ Either way, whoever’s holding the phone seems to understand that such a wondrous sight deserves a proper tribute-- namely, draping yourself seductively on the hood and taking a goofy pin-up video. Which apparently is exactly what Wade has decided to do. From his position on the hood, the viewers can spot someone tucked across the back seats of the car, an almost shapeless mass of voluminous galaxy-print hoodie, t-shirt (this one is blank, save for the faded and occasional condiment stain), track shorts and shabby once-pink slippers. ]

[ Sans appears to be reclining here, sprinkling ash from the end of a cigarette all over himself and the back seat. As he lifts his skull at Wade’s arrival, he quirks a supraorbital ridge at the phone in his hand but his grin doesn’t change. Somehow, being a skeleton with no respiratory system to speak of doesn’t stop him from seemingly exhaling a stream of smoke into the air.

Smoking in the back seat of a new car? Well, it ain’t like its intended recipient is ever gonna enjoy it. ]

sup, you tryin’ out for america’s funniest home videos?

Heh. More like Ripley’s Believe It or Not. You probably can’t tell from where you’re sittin’ but I’m makin’ the most righteous duck-face right now. Oh, yeah-- Cryptkeeper, eat yer heart out. What’s with the sudden wheels, bee-tee-dubs? You suddenly win the lottery or kill a hooker or somethin’?

or somethin’. ...you like it? [ Sans eases upright like it’s the hardest thing he’s had to do all day, but pats the seat with one skeletal hand as he tucks the filter of the cigarette against his grin again. How he does that is a mystery. And given the way he always smells like, uh, greasy burgers or hot dogs and usually ketchup, he ain’t a habitual smoker, either. ] took every last G i had. it’s for Papyrus.

Aww… no kiddin’? [Wade turns away from the phone screen to look at Sans directly. He recognizes that smile-- the smile of someone who would move mountains for his beloved family member. It’s pretty cute, the lengths Sans is willing to go for his brother. ] Quite the expensive Christmas present. I’m guessin’ he’s a huge car buff then, huh? Want me to videotape his reaction when he sees this thing? Could make for some entertaining cinema. I’m imaginin’ something like the Nintendo 64 kid. [A chuckle.]

yeah, ‘bout that… [ Rasping a hand over the crown of his skull, Sans swings his eye lights over the car itself. ] couldn’t wait ‘til christmas, so i went lookin’ for him.

but, hey-- [ The skeleton hunches up his shoulders in a shrug, grinning at Wade. Casually, he passes that partially-consumed cigarette to Wade, like it’s nothing, or normal, or something. ] --turns out there’s no place like home for the holidays. [ That’s when Sans glances again at the phone. That’s, uh, that’s not the setting for taking pictures. He might actually have to do something about that. ]

[Wade’s not a smoker either, barring a brief stint in his teenage years when he wanted to be more like James Dean. Still, when your best bro casually offers you a cigarette, you don’t really say no to that. It’s not like he could get cancer again, anyway. Wade’s in the midst of plucking the cigarette from Sans’s phalanges when the bombshell he’s dropped so nonchalantly registers in his brain. He stops, cigarette held expertly between two fingers as if he’d been smoking for thirty years rather than thirty days, and looks over the windshield at his companion.]

Dude… [He stops; runs a hand over his head and tries again.] I mean-- shit, man. You okay? [Wade lowers the phone, only just now realizing that the recording light is blinking, and hastily turns it off.]

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The suspense is killin' me.

[ Yes, he certainly sounds it. Has the reaction time of the half-dead, too, as he stares for a long moment at Rin's expectantly outstretched hand and finally leans down for one of the bags. What happens next continues only for as long as Rin's patience does.

It starts with a shrug, like most of the things he does (or literally doesn't do).

But it involves taking out a graham cracker (largely unbroken), a chunk of chocolate bar, and a marshmallow, and stacking these on her palm.

Seriously, he will keep stacking these layers until she stops him.

Or until he reaches thirty items. Y'know. Whichever comes first. Thirty is just a ridiculous number, okay? ]

[Sans, please. Do you think you're chilling with Ghandi, or Rin Tohsaka?

Her initial puzzled expression turns into one of disbelief, and by the second graham cracker, vivid annoyance. Is he seriously—]

[One chunk of chocolate, and then the force of her shout topples the entire tower over.]

Why would you take them out one at a time when they were already in bags?!?

[ALL YOU HAD TO WAS SET THEM DOWN, IT WAS A MOVE THAT SHOULD HAVE TAKEN 2.4 SECONDS WITH THE ADJUSTED STUPID ANNOYING NUMBSKULL SLACKER MEASURE. SANS, WHY, THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.]

Guess you should'a said so.

[ Sans offers, unhelpfully, with the customary unconcerned roll of a shoulder. His nonchalance probably only serves to make him even more insufferable, but this little conversational detour's a little like re-establishing normalcy, for him. ]

But sure, ok.

[ He's not picking up the ones that fell on the floor. He's going so far as to bring up the bags because he actually wants to enjoy some of their contents -- just don't leave the bags with him, or he might end up enjoying said contents one by one.

Like a goblin, or something. ]

Here, knock yourself out.

[Fiend. Rin bets he's the type who would bite into a chocolate bar the way it is instead of breaking the sectioned pieces off to eat like a civilized monster too. She stomps back around the proper side of her chair, stopping only to scoop the pieces that fell to the floor.

She'll eat those ones herself, even if the thought kind of makes her scrunch up her nose. But Sanji would be appalled if she didn't, and it's only thanks to him she could bring these tonight.

Once seated, Rin reflexively swats at Sans's hand, as if expecting him to pull some other stunt.]

No taste-testing before we start! Your first bite has to be a proper s'more toasted over the flames, got it?

[Of course that might encourage him to do the opposite, but hey. He told her to say so. 8|

Sneaking a wary glance at him, she reaches for her bag again, this time for the last items: two marshmallow forks, one which she hands over to him.]

[ She'd--be right. Sans, too lazy to break off food into proper bite-sized pieces, would rather cut out the process entirely and get straight to the part where he isn't hungry anymore. Easy, simple, no-nonsense.

He doesn't have a reason to bother with baking pies or quiches anymore, so why bother? ]

Got it, boss.

[ He holds up both hands in the universal gesture of MERCY. Sans will SPARE you further shenanigans, Rin, because a tsundere's only fun to poke up to a certain point, and he likes his bones being where they are. After one beat of surprised silence, Sans reaches for the marshmallow fork, giving it a once-over. ]

...They have forks for this? Fancy. Guess it beats stickin' to sticks.

[ He gets the strangest feeling there could have been a better joke in there, but when he tries to grasp for the idea, it slips away, forgotten. He shrugs. ]

Y'know... I gotta ask. Why do this with me?

[Rin's scrutinizing looks stays in place until he's accepted the fork from her hands... Whereupon she pushes back in her seat considerably cheerier. Eager, even? She's humming as she stabs a marshmallow on her fork, then a second. If you're going to break your diet, might as well go all out, right?

She doesn't much care if he wants to snack on the treats without probably sandwiching them after the first one; whatever she enjoys best. It was hard work, though, learning how to make monster food.

Partway in she had wanted to give up and just gives Sans what was readily available in the kitchen. What's wrong with human food? He'd proven he could eat it before! But in the end, Rin stuck it through. The whole point had been to do something nice for him, not her.

Extending the marshmallow fork over the flames, she responds plainly, without pause.]

Who else would?

[Almost everyone she can think of in their mutual friend pool is gone.

And a few more still she can't remember to think of at all.]

[ Following Rin's lead means Sans isn't far behind in spearing a pair of marshmallows and extending the fork over the fire. Said fire makes his bones seem to glow orange and yellow where its light flickers over them, softens the dark hollows of his face. Feels warm. Only a slight novelty to a skeleton who is perpetually cold. ]

Seriously? C'mon. Girl like you? Probably has lots of friends.

[ He isn't teasing, either. For some reason, he seems to recall she did have friends. That she was certainly more social than he's been, and he generally liked getting along with folks.

Who else would? She said.

He finds himself... troubled, a little, to be made so keenly aware of how hollow the treehouse is, how paperthin its walls feel. The avoided armchair draws his gaze.

I've seen that before, Sans starts to think, when his marshmallows catch fire. ]

[She used to be so good at setting up barriers. As long as she kept people on the other side of that glass, she could make them see what she wanted them to see. When you have a school full of admirers and dozens of happy acquaintances, for instance, no one in their right mind would call her friendless.

It's an illusion she's proud of; if it fooled Sans without her trying, all the better she thinks.

If she'd been thinking properly, she would have taken greater care to maintain those barriers when she came to this place.]

Mm. [She lies pleasantly. No need to make him think about it.] You got me there.

[A roommate, contracted partner, frequent ally in this castle, and a guy she owes a lot of favors to. That's probably close enough.]

They're not the sort I felt inclined hang out with tonight. I wanted to do something nice with you.

Flattery's gonna get you nowhere. I think my tailbone's taken root in this chair. Seriously, you're gonna need a crowbar to get me outta here.

[ She's probably doing this because of Papyrus. That's kind, but, uh. He's okay.

And Sans can't remember what it was that brought them together in the first place. That's a burr that sticks in his thoughts, but recedes when his attention strays back to his marshmallows.

They burn, because he doesn't have breath to blow them out, and doesn't particularly see a point in putting out fires. ]

Oops.

[ Okay, so... maybe he could... Just. Wave his marshmallow fork a little, try to put it out. It doesn't exactly work. ]

Couldja blow that out for me?

[A globule of marshmallow goo dribbles on the floor as Rin pulls back her own marshmallows, reaching for Sans's stick to do as requested.]

You really stink at this.

[But she does as he asks without much other fuss. Infused with traces of wind magical energy, two quick breaths puts the flame out nicely.

With that accomplished, she doesn't relinquish the marshmallow back to him either. Nope. Instead her mouth shoots open wide, stealing the burnt marshmallow right off the tip of the stick in one bite. Ha!]

[ Hard to say if Sans is startled, but his eye lights do seem to wink out like he's blinked in surprise, a low chuckle rolling out of him. He sounds impressed by her quick act of opportunism, didn't expect that from Rin, that was more--

Whose... style..? ]

Sneaky. [ He snorts in amusement that feels suddenly forced and hollow, reaching for another marshmallow. ] Anyway, looks like you haven't noticed, but I'm a professional stinker.

[ Hey, all things considered, this is pretty cozy. Some junk food, some cheap laughs, a good friend by his side. He keeps his own phalanges out of harm's way as he spears a new marshmallow, out of habit, even if he ain't sitting pretty on one HP. ]

Better keep an eye socket out on you and your sticky fingers, pal.

Hot, hot, hot...!

[Rin fans her mouth through Sans's little speech, kicking her feet in a way that's probably comical. That's what she gets for not giving it a second or two to cool; she'd remembered the process being much faster from her middle school years. Of course she wasn't too far off, and the heat quickly begins to subside as she chews, and the look on her face turns satisfied. Ah, that was good. Not as good as it could have been, of course.]

Uh-huh. I'd like my next one to be just as crispy while you're at it, thank you.

[Propping her marshmallow spear up between her feet so she can use both hands, Rin reaches for a graham cracker, and then a chunk of chocolate to slap over it. If they don't use it all, she'll have to remember to bring some to that person later.

That... Who she's thinking of escapes her at the moment, but they really love chocolate, don't they? Maybe she's thinking of Sakura; a gossamer memory from a distant past. Ah. She should probably not mind it then...]

[ They're distracted, but exchanging smiles, indulging in these comical little acts of... friendship? Or self-comfort. In any case, she can think about whoever she wants, hell, even the sister who can't be here. Why not? Sans can't stop thinking about his brother, and what he might do to convince Ozuma to stop bringing him into this goddamn war.

His grin doesn't sour, regardless of the bitter taste. ]

Yeah? No promises, boss. But knowin' me, I'm bound to burn a few more before we're through.

[ Chuckling again as he regards the s'more assembly out of the corner of his eye socket, Sans lowers his marshmallow stick over the flames, rubbing the toe of one slipper against the approximate region of his other ankle, like he's scratching some non-existent itch. ]

[There's can't and can't. Sakura isn't far away anymore, just a mere trip into the castle, but if anything her presence serves as a harsher reminder of that fact. They'll never have that normalcy; never be able to spend simple, quality time together.

Then again, she was never meant to have that with more than casual acquaintances too, but here she is toasting s'mores with someone who knows what she is and has a fine excuse to hate her for it. Tomorrow is full of surprises.]

Honestly, it's not that hard to pull them off before they catch flame! Do you need me to make buzzer sounds warning you?

[Despite prior claims, she seems to sound more interested in seeing he doesn't burn them, like she can't make up her mind. Ahh, but look at the way the chocolate melts when she sandwiches it between the crackers and marshmallow. Heavenly.]

Heh heh heh, now wouldn't that be somethin' to hear.

[ Sans's grin is angled down at the stick held poised over the flame, phalanges fidgeting to turn it while firelight paints his bones orange and gold.

This time, at least, he doesn't lose track of time with talk; he lifts the marshmallows away before they get terribly burnt-- and, of course, tilts them at Rin.

What, assemble his own s'more? He might just end up eating it one item at a time, instead of going through the trouble of stacking them together. ]

You know a bunch about our progress in this 'war', don'tcha? I've kept outta it, for the most part. FIGHTing ain't much my thing.

[She sighs as if being put upon, but doesn't so much as complain as she sets her s'more to the side to build up his. In fact, the corners of her mouth might be caught twitching up, as if she suspected she might have to do this.]

I like to consider myself involved. That said...

[Catching the marshmallow off the fork between two crackers, the young mage holds all of the goodies up at eye level for him as she works, so he can see the entire delectably thrilling process. Chocolate melting, gooey marshmallow clinging to graham cracker like a seal... Looks gooood, right~?]

I don't think there's been progress to report since October. I called that Casper guy out for as much, but I'm not any better.

[She sounds cross with herself saying that, holding out the finished s'more for him.]

Edited 2017-01-23 18:56 (UTC)

[ Nice of her to indulge him.

Funnier that she makes something of a production outta it. At first, Sans suspects it for a tease, that he'd reach out for the s'more only to have it snatched away. ]

Casper?

[ For a skeleton who seems to know practically everyone, Sans needs a second to recall who that is. ]

You went out there in October? Man, with those things goin' around, couldn't have been a walk in the park.

[ Sans, it never is, it's way your lazy ass never goes anymore. Also he was spending the last part of that month in an unspeakable amount of pain, but, uh, determination's a hell of a drug. ]

[Nope! She only stole his marshmallow (and pretended to like the burnt ones best) the first time because he burned it, which would result in a less than perfect s'more in her opinion.

Of course it still tasted pretty good. Would that even be an issue with monster food? It doesn't spoil, so maybe that doesn't matter either. Still, no taking chances there.]

I only ended up scouting, around the end of the month. In rescuing us, it was the others who cleared a new area. But I wanted to see how much further it would lead, you know? Especially since Masaomi and...

[And there's that uncomfortable feeling again, like she's tripped over a rock in her own thoughts. Frowning, her eyebrows dip downwards.]

...Masaomi and I were the ones to clear the initial path they took.

[...That still doesn't sound right.]

[...She's making a sour expression for no reason. Not wanting to sour the good time they should be having she shakes it off, shrugging amiably with a smile.]

Anyways, I didn't get far checking it out. There wasn't much out that way but bats to stop me, but I was getting over being sick. By the time I reached the waterfall I already felt winded, so I turned back around.

[Getting impatient to see his reaction now, when Sans doesn't immediately take the s'more, she shoves it at him with more emphasis. Take it, you lump of weird smells and bones.]

[ She pauses, troubled, and Sans pauses short of actually taking the s'more; if he's troubled by her moment of frowning thoughtfulness, his grin confesses little. She pushes it forward, and this time, he takes it.

There's a pretense of looking over the treat, at least until her attention might wander for a second, long enough to take a bite without putting her off her appetite--

It's...

Sans's HP was maxed out. Wait... ]

Uh. [ That's actually a quiet, surprised note, not a pause. ] Hey, now there's a taste of Home, heh heh. Where'd you get ingredients from my neck of the multiverse? Call in a favor on Ozzy?

Nope!

[She sounds delighted, clapping her hands. Gripping the armrest, she leans partway out of her seat.]

So? So? Is it good? This was my first time making monster food, and it took me most of the day, but I had fun making it. Still, that's worthless without a boneafide seal of approval.

[ The look Sans gives her -- ignoring the ever-present grin, that is -- invokes an incredulousness that is little-seen in the skeletal monster. His silence might end up getting a little insulting, but nothing beats his rumbled note of impressed wonder: ]

You made this, huh?

[ Like that's a surprise. Like that's some kind of miracle. One eye socket shuts in a wink, and he reaches for the bag of broken pieces of chocolate.

Stop him (again) before he pops that into his mouth.

Smells like nostalgia. ]

Not bad. You're a regular monster maitre'd.

[ He totally butchered that pronunciation, by the way. ]

[The silence does drag, if only because she can't tell what's really going through his head. It's hard to get a read on someone who doesn't have a face. Good situation or bad situation, that's always a little vexing, but as they say: patience is a virtue.

A lady of her station should embody such traits, or something like that. Classy as hell, the Tohsaka heir can manage this.

Sincerely, it's worth it when he finally pipes up. His words carry a sentiment unusual to him, something beyond joking or dull interest. It's more reverent than she expected. Maybe not as joyful as she would have hoped? But it's real and honestly felt, and that's among the finest of rewards Rin could have asked for in the end.]

That's right, I did.

[She looks tickled pink as she leans back into her seat, content and making no move to stop him from just picking through the goodies. She reaches for her own s'more that was set aside, finally able to take a bite from it.]

It's for you, so you can eat it however you like now, even if it makes you look like a hobo.

[She swirls a finger in the air.] Although if you could be compelled to make at least one more s'more properly before the night is done, who knows? Maybe I could be convinced to make something else for you again.

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