achievementhunter: (haha good lord you're boring)
Chara Dreemurr..? ([personal profile] achievementhunter) wrote in [community profile] solnet2016-04-12 06:55 am

GAME START!

[For a kid who's pretty much constantly sauntering about shooting people creepy grins and running off their mouth, Chara seems fairly relaxed, this feed. Could be the fact that they're in the library. Or perhaps it's just a nice day outside.]

Would you like to play a game, fellow foot soldiers?

[Or maybe it's the fact that they're making a mildly off-kilter Saw joke, whatever.]

The past few weeks, I've noticed when talking to others that even the most unassuming words can have significantly different meaning; mark me curious. So here's the rules;

Each of us will have our turn in choosing a word. Perhaps this word has no real meaning to us, or perhaps it does.

The receiver of said word goes on to define it; either in a social...or personal context. Then they also pick a word to be defined. And thus the cycle continues until one of us gets bored.

[A bright smile, and the camera swings wildly askew as it's holder reaches over the side of the lounge for another book.]

I'll even start it off. Your word, is 'monster'.
ishotyouuu: (are you for real dude?)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-15 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
[Wade might not be able to get a good gauge of what's inside Chara's soul-- little kids are harder to read due to his inherent bias-- but Wade definitely knows when a nerve has been struck. Interesting. This conversation gets more intriguing by the minute.]

I guess you're right. Love does conquer all, or so they say.

[He hasn't forgotten that it's his turn in this little word association game.]

Friendship.
ishotyouuu: (just shootin' the breeze)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-21 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
[Spoken like someone reading from the dictionary rather than one who's experienced it themselves. Coupled with what Chara said about family being fleeting... Wade doesn't have the most optimistic picture of the kid's life right now. He doesn't say anything, of course-- that would most likely incite offense at being pitied. Kids are much smarter than many adults give them credit for, after all, and they don't take kindly to being patronized.

Instead he focuses on the word he's been given-- a rather appropriate word, given the circumstances.]


A companion. Someone you have with you your entire life. You can drive it away with a good meal every once in a while, but it always comes back. One of the only things of yours that does come back, really.

...Are you hungry now?
Edited 2016-04-21 02:01 (UTC)
ishotyouuu: (what's all this then?)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-21 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
[Sounds like this kid might be getting a little stranger danger. Not that Wade blames them, really-- he's just a random dude in a weird outfit that showed up at the castle one day. One freely given apple is not enough to prove his intentions.

But he still can't resist the urge to be coy about it.]


No fair answerin' a question with a question, kiddo. Why don'cha answer mine first an' I'll answer yours.
ishotyouuu: (feelin' good)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-22 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[There we go. There's a smug smile in Wade's voice as he replies.]

Aww, man. I'd love to answer your question, kiddo, but I'm not ready yet. Wanna stop by the kitchen in about... ten minutes? Pretty sure I'll have the answer for ya around then.
ishotyouuu: (good luck with that bro)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-25 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
[Wade's singing can clearly be heard as Chara ventures closer to the kitchen. Towards the end of his tenure in Haven, he'd rarely been in the mood for singing, and for a while, it seemed as though that happy little habit had been crushed out of him along with what remained of his optimism. Amazing what a few full-course meals and a good night's sleep in a warm bed could do for you. (Now if he could only stop the night terrors, everything would be just fine.)]

Who can it be knockin' at my door?
Make no sound, tiptoe across the floor
If he hears, he'll knock all day
I'll be trapped and here I'll have to stay~


[At least he has a good voice? There's a sudden clattering noise, and Wade briefly interrupts his song to address an unknown person in the kitchen.]

I've done no harm, I keep to mys-- wait a minute, Tibs. I know it looks delicious, but we can't dig in just yet. Gotta wait for our guest, y'know?

[The voice that replies is unintelligible but no less admonishing.] Cubone! Bone!

I know, darlin'. But patience is a virtue. Tell ya what-- I'll give you an extra big piece if you can be a good girl and wait just a little while longer, okay?
ishotyouuu: (are you not entertained?)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-25 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[Tibia sees the intruder before Wade does, and she urgently tugs at his pant leg, pointing in Chara's direction with her bone. Wade's eyes lock briefly with the child's before he... sinks below the counter with a shifty expression. Tibia, not to be outdone, does the same after a few looks from Chara to Wade. The refrigerator door opens briefly, and then closes again.

After a few seconds, Wade starts singing again-- humming, rather-- and it's a song that everyone who's been exposed to human culture should know by now. At the same time, something comes rising from under the counter, lifted by Wade's own two hands.

It's a pie. A chocolate pudding pie, to be exact-- freshly chilled from the refrigerator and topped with a healthy serving of whipped cream. Still mostly hidden, Wade slides the pie across the counter in Chara's direction, allowing the child to bask in awe at its perfect design before finally rising behind his cover, triumphantly singing the last few notes with enthusiastic flourish. Please, hold your applause.]
ishotyouuu: (got something wrong with your noggin)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-26 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
[Chara may have implied that they were more sinister than they appeared to be, but Wade knows an infectious laugh when he hears one. It may have been choked down too early to really amount to anything, but it was a laugh, plain and simple, and Wade is simultaneously tickled, endeared and encouraged by it. He rubs Tibia's head roughly from where she's climbed up onto the counter (she closes her eyes briefly in delight at her human father's praise) before addressing Chara's accusation.]

That's my secret. I've got spooky scary pie powers. [Said with an accompanying waggling of fingers, which Tibia also enthusiastically imitates.] The only way to stop it from gaining sentience and possessing someone is to eat it up quick. Hurry! I think I just saw it move!

[Tibia, loyal little assistant that she is, immediately gives the counter a whack with her bone to make the pie dish tremble slightly, immediately shoving the bone behind her back and adopting an innocent expression in case Chara should decide to look at her. Wade, to his credit, does not laugh at this. It's a monumental effort.]
Edited 2016-04-26 01:08 (UTC)
ishotyouuu: (top chef deadpool)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-26 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
[Even as a mercenary, whose entire career is designed to exploit every possible weakness available, Wade doesn't understand the significance of Chara turning their back to him. How could he? For all intents and purposes, Chara seems like a regular kid. He unwittingly rewards this secret test of character by turning his back on them as well, reaching up to the cupboards to get out some plates before turning back around to set them on the counter.]

You wanna do the honor of exorcising this bad boy? It's your pie.
ishotyouuu: (can't we talk about this?)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-26 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
[So it's to be that way, is it? Well... two can play at that game. When Chara makes the initial incision, an otherworldly shrieking, burbling noise erupts from the pie-- okay, so the sounds are coming from Wade, but still. He suddenly darts forward, grabbing the pie tin with both hands and struggling with it in an attempt to keep it grounded.]

It's tryin' to get away! [Said in between those painful, nightmarish sounds.] Do it, kid! Kill it once and for all!

Bone! Bone! CUBONE! [Tibia adds her own two cents to the scene, slamming her bone down into her other hand in an imitation of a fatal strike.]

[A few more well-placed cuts with the knife, and the sounds fade into pained gurgles, quickly becoming silent. Wade cautiously lets go of the tin, rising from his position and wiping his brow with a sigh of relief.]

Think it might be over, kiddo. You did good. [His voice suddenly adapts a sinister tone that Vincent Price would have been proud of.]

Now to feast on its juicy insides.
ishotyouuu: (tasty tasty calories)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-26 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[The smile Chara has on their face now probably would have disturbed anyone else, and indeed, it is a bit unnerving even to Wade. But Wade has had a history with troubled children like these. He'd managed to talk down a mutant child who possessed explosive telekinetic powers that only came about when he was stressed out (and he was stressed out nearly all the time). He'd befriended another child with the ability to predict the future, a child whose mutation had deformed his face so hideously that his father kept him sheltered from the outside world, fearing that civilization would make his son a pariah.

Wade's even somehow made friends with the child who would one day grow up to destroy the world, and his dedication to the safety of that child caused him to miraculously avert his world's dark future as they knew it. Wade may be a heartless killer motivated solely by money, but when it came to children-- regardless of their background, species, or level of violence-- all bets were off.

Besides, Chara's cute when they laugh.

Wade laughs in kind, lifting his mask up over his mouth before stabbing his fork into a piece of the pie's desiccated corpse and popping it into his mouth with relish.]


Mmn. Nothin' like the taste of suffering, right? Must be why burgers are so good.
ishotyouuu: (just shootin' the breeze)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-27 10:54 am (UTC)(link)
[Wade laughs at that, scooping up another gelatinous forkful of pudding filling and stuffing it into his mouth with no sign of hesitation or disgust. Kid's got quite the dark sense of humor, but he likes that. Those were the types of kids that grew up to be scientists or morticians, people who took things apart to find out what makes them tick-- or to find out what happens when they stopped ticking. As someone who has, quite literally, flirted with Death, he's nowhere near qualified to judge.]

Hate to disappoint you, kid, but crabs don't scream. Got no vocal cords-- no use for 'em when you're livin' in the ocean, y'know? It's just the hot steam blasting through their shells makin' that screamin' noise, that's all.

The other part's true, though. They would probably scream if they could. I mean, hell-- I've nearly been boiled alive, so I'll be the first to tell you that anyone who tells you crabs don't feel anything when you boil 'em is spouting a bunch of Grade-A bullshit.
ishotyouuu: (chatting it up)

[personal profile] ishotyouuu 2016-04-28 10:54 am (UTC)(link)
Hmm.

[Wade pauses mid-bite of another piece of pie, his brow furrowing thoughtfully as he tries to come up with a definitive answer. Finally he shrugs, shoving the forkful into his mouth and speaking around a mouthful of pudding.]

A lot worse than bein' digested, lemme tell you. You'd think it'd be the other way around, but once the acid eats away the second epidermis, the pain just kinda ebbs a little as you start to go into shock. It's actually too much pain for your brain to handle, which... I guess is kinda ironic.

Boiling, though-- that takes it to a whole new level. 'Cause your skin stays mostly intact-- mostly-- it's what's inside you's gettin' cooked. You basically become your own personal crock pot for your organs. No bueno. Plus at least with digestion, there's a way out, know what I'm sayin'?

[Should he be telling these things to a kid? Probably not. But hey-- they've already established themselves as being firmly on the dark and morbid side of things. Plus, they asked.]

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