solnet | ~♥TWO♥~

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~♥TWO♥~

[ Audio ]

Hey there, ho there! This is you big, bad neighborhood ladykilling master, Masaomi Kida, reporting in ver the airwaves to give you some smooth beats. And by beats, I of course mean how infallible my advice is in the first place! [ Even if that joke isn't at all good, the man laughs at it anyway, the laugh trailing off so he can go on to ] Anyway, anyway, you're not listening to Kida Radio, and the topic on hand today is going to be one important to as any as long as we're locked away in this castle. Namely, staying in shape! It's not just about looking good for your dates, folks! With food wobbling wildly last month and shadows creeping around ready to pick a fight with us, you might've almost thought that was the last thing!

[ He snaps his fingers and, ] Weeell, unless you got connected to someone else this month and found that you're embarrassed you put on a kilogram or two and they could suddenly feel it. Or maybe you're having a hard time climbing the huge amount of stairs we've got here, or swinging on the chains out here deeper in the castle! Or you got stuck in a door this month and you're like "wow, my muscles can't really have just paused on me like that, right?

Take it from me, there's a lot of reasons to try to keep nourished, and also to be ready for a fight if that's your style! But me? Glad you asked! I've not found any good way to keep up the weight routine I used to do in the absence of a proper gym, but keeping up a schedule of a long log around the alter room, some personal crunches and stretching, and a fair bit of sparring with my best girl, I'm working up a real sweat these days. And I don't just mean because I'm rooming with a pretty young thing! [ Cue the laugh track. Or rather, him laughing at his own joke again ]

So come on, while I've still got a big head [ And despite this being a "radio" broadcast, he briefly flips on the video so people can get the joke - he's been glitched into Big Head Mode and looks throughly ridiculous right now. He waves once, clearly somewhere up by the garden, and then clicks off the video ] let's make good on my own ego! Anyone looking for a new sparring partner? Or maybe some other gorgeous gals want to help me work up a sweat - [ a distinct pause, and then a punchline ] by running with me, of course!

[ He doesn't laugh at this joke, but he does clap his hands at it ]

But okay, okay, I'll be here until the Queen's defeated, so you can expect some more Kida Radio segments, maybe next time with some special guests or it being recorded in a replay-happy format. For now though, listeners, let's get some call ins! How do you guys keep in shape? Have you had any particularly special experiences of your own in the last few weeks? Come and tell you old friend, the loyal righteous vassal, Masaomi Kida, and we can make you a new rising star here on Kiiiiida Radio!

Over and out.

[ ... So he knew he was being silly, sue him. It seemed like a good way to pass the time while his head was too big to not really go through the door back down the residential floors without rubbing against the walls. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ old smithy. must be something from 'home' or whatever comes close. ]

Hope I never find out. See, all that working hard just gives people the idea you're reliable.

[ Sure, he's worthless dead weight, but he's also shameless about it in a way that's conspicuously trying to make light of his laziness. It's a joke -- kinda like this whole situation, right? ]

And then before you know it, everybody wants you to do something. I'd rather take it easy, pal.

So you're saying that no on expects anything of you, Sans-san? And here I thought you were Information Skeleton!

[ With a little bit of an airy tone. People think you're reliable... huh. He both actively resisted reliability in Luceti while at the same time desperately wanting to prove himself as reliable. Silly, in retrospect ]

[ More like that sub who throws a movie in the VCR and lets the students have a break while the real teacher's out. ]

Don't remind me. Lousy gig, no mandated break periods or anything.

[ Sans, you were practically napping all day in the altar room on a bean bag chair... ]

Haha, so what hobby do you have? Cloud-watching? Looking at people's hip bones?

[ That last guess (suggestion???) makes him cough softly, or maybe that's just him choking down a scoff. Gazing on people's hip bones sounds pretty weird. ]

Beats me.

[ He's got a better idea. ]

I just got up, I ain't firin' on all cylinders just yet, maybe you can remind me if you start asking questions.

You know, I could, I could! Buuuut! As a host, I need to make sure it's entertaining for the listeners at home.

[ And he makes a "drumroll" by tapping his finger against his knee ]

So I'll cut right to the gossip! What's made your heart beat faster lately!

[ Oh boy. One moment he's thinking let's lure Masaomi into an entertaining proverbial goose chase called 20 questions, and the next he's made painfully aware that Masaomi's incorporating this into his talk show.

Which his brother will undoubtedly be listening to, in the absence of his favorite 'sexy rectangle'.

...Who still thinks he and Wade are, uh, dating.

Which they decided to do because Papyrus was so absolutely elated there was no way Sans could burst his bro's bubble. ]

U-uh.

[ But because this is a day ending in y, Sans's momentary hesitation probably reads as something VERY different. And to Masaomi? It might just scream 'Opportunity'. ]

[ Oh, it des. and he was going to give the guy time to answer, but now he's gotten a little splutter of a follow up - the chance sings in his head and even if he doesn't know the older(?) undead man well, he does know a good spot to make this more theatrical. And so he allowed for about five seconds before he followed up, ]

Oh, oh, oh!! So it's one of those secret, alluring things which makes even a heart which isn't there swell to three times the size! The sort of where toes are intertwined even?! You'd think we'd just hit excitement, but I think we hit honest to goodness scandal, folks!

[ ...toes intertwined ha ha what ]

Nothin' gets past you, huh?

[ Sans doesn't put nearly the same effort Masaomi does into adding to the theatrical element of the show, he doesn't put effort in at all. ]

Welp, the secret's out. Yeah, there's someone, we have fun. It's cool.

You should see this text I got earlier. It was pretty saucy.

[ . . . Are they playing chicken now? Are they doing it when he doesn't have any personal stakes? That just doesn't seem smart, but then, this guy might just be the sort of not be embarrassed. Ah well, let's milk it. Hs smirk grows a little wider (which looks really dumb on his current huge head, so it's good he's only ding audio, and responds, ]

Nyohohoho~! Well if it's the sort of text to invoke some sauce, it's probably a good thing it was sent to a skeleton in the first place! We wouldn't want that sort of pants problem so early into the broadcast! But come on, Sans-san! The gossip's all the rage here!

[ Hey, the damage has been done, far as Sans is concerned. He might not be able to even LOOK at a bottle of ketchup without thinking about that text for at least a month or two more, but misery, as they say, loves company.

And if it's possible to scandalize someone else for a laugh? Hey, why not.

Uh, except for the fact that his brother might be listening and that's not okay. ]

Afraid the content's too tart for radio. But I'll show you after the show.

[ While he can't hear the wink, that sly drawl suggests one. ]

Only 5000 G a pop.

Oh, we're putting out some G's! Is that the crypto-currency I'm not aware of in the first place! [ He claps his hand together, grinning a little wider now, but also groaning that his head feels so, so, heavy on his shoulders. It sort of sucks. ]

Here I thought the order of the day, even if it's saucy, was a matter of favors! So what really matters is if Ozuma-san is pervert or not!

[ Y E P ]

[ Oh man. ]

Y'know, it's statements like that one that makes a monster wonder what goes on in that head of yours, buddy.

[ How did they get here? Ah, yes, because Kida is actually pretty good at this fast talk thing. It's probably part of what makes his radio show entertaining.

Yeah, he might be just the thing to replace MTT. ]

I don't have any gossip about our fearless benefactor.

[ It was his Shadow who got the juicy details, there. ]

But having him owe you a solid's worth more than gold in your pocket around here.

Hooooh, you know that I've heard of those favors, but putting the rumors aside, how do you get them? Do you need to tell Ozuma-san what you've done, or is he always watching, like some stalker?

[ Is it more like MARS or is it more like impressing Catherine?

That said, he pops his lips there at the end, mostly to let out a bit of amusement ]

It's like Santa. He knows when you've been pullin' your weight, somehow.

Far as I know? Doin' stuff that protects our side, makes it easier for us to stand a chance at winnin' this thing, clearing territory... those'll put ya in Ozzy's good graces pretty fast.

[ Heck, once, the only thing they could do to survive was sing at a giant amalgam of shadows, and he's pretty sure everyone who participated in singing for their lives ended up having a favor owed them in return. ]

But say you really need something, like medicine? You can ask Ozzy to get it for you and he'll give you somethin' he needs done in return.

[ Something you need, like medicine, huh. He hums a little, arching his back - there's an infirmary. Is it still stocked? He had seen before now that, ]

There are some doctors here, aren't there?

[ That probably seemed a little random out of his own head. Oh well. That said... ]

So it's a Santa situation but he plays for mutual benefit rather than good will.

Yeah. But we didn't have medicine when a kid got sick, one of us had to call in a favor.

[ That was Yukio. He remembers sitting by the kid's bed, using his phalanges like a cool compress while the kid was burning up, until they got a basin of water and a cloth instead. Remembers Minako bustling around like a fretful mother.

They say kids grow up fast. The kind of person Yukio grew to be -- the things he'd done to gain all that LOVE...

Sans slams the proverbial gate down on that train of thought before it can make him feel-- well, whatever. ]

But yeah, somethin' like that.

That does sound like a stressful situation, Sans-san.

[ And he actually sounds a little bit sympathetic! Actually, a lot, beyond just smiling and humming, because a sick kid actually is something which makes his stomach switch around just a little in a way he didn't see coming. Weird. Busying himself by looking over at birds, the then glances back on to the phone ]

There's a lot of missing history for us new people.

Edited (THIS TIME I FORGOT WHAT THREAD THIS IS) 2016-09-26 00:56 (UTC)

Guess it'd be pretty handy if we had some kinda FAQ thing, but... Eh.

[ His shrug might even be audible, if one could possibly identify the shift of fabric when his shoulders roll. ]

We might be done here by the time we get finished with somethin' like that. [ Or the person working on it might die, or get captured by the Queen and turned into one of her Shadows. ]

What's the point?

[ Well, for one, it'd mean fewer repetitive conversations about the past. ]

[ Is... is this guy serious? ]

How long do you think that we're going to be here, Sans-san? How long is this mission going to take?

[ He says this flatly, and in the process sort of tips his hand about how ludicrous that answer sounded to him. Where would Luceti had been without it's Guide, without people like Raine Sage or Shikamaru or even that Albert guy who could remember history enough to hand down experiences, to explain the mechanics, and make sure people were on the same page. ]

Who knows? Some of these guys have been here for a year already, or just about.

[ And while they've been able to seize territory bit by bit, there's really no telling how long they'll be able to hold onto it. They're getting spread thin the more they explore, and the Queen? She has no shortage of influence she can leverage on things like... Well. Like a lot of what they encounter month to month.

Of those who have been here a long time, how many of them have actually bothered to inform newcomers? How many of them have attempted to archive this information and disseminate it to the others?

...Yeah. ]

We have no way of knowin' how close we are to finishing this thing.

Then please don't sound so flippant, Sans-san. [ Man, that's rich, coming from him ] Ignorance might be bliss, but it's in no way helpful to this sort of situation. What's a a week or two of interviews as compared to making sure people aren't attempting the same things people have tried before, or that people know what rooms are safe or aren't, or the ropes in general. Two days from now, that information is helpful, but two years from now, that information is invaluable.

[ ... When he did start to believe things like this?

When did he start to have the courage to say things like this? Particularly over a radio broadcast. He frowned to himself, somewhat glad the guy can't see him right now ]

Heh heh heh.

[ Flippant, huh? Yeah, he's probably right, but he doesn't think he'll be taking the guy's advice. Not when he sees an opportunity here to pass the buck. ]

Said like somebody who has experience with this kinda thing.

Y'know, with a radio talk show and your way with people, you could just be the guy for the job.

[ . . . He walked right into that. In truth, he was saying more like "this needs to happen" rather than to tell Sans he needed to do it. But... The guy for the job, huh?

How troublesome, some alien part of his memory leaks out ]

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1/2 HOW ARE YOU REAL

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